literature

A Pair Of Dirty Converse

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A pair of dirty Converse



I remember, I remember it all. Every shallow breath, every skipped heart beat and every hair-prickling pang of fear that shoots through to your insides. I was there. I watched her. I saw her lifeless mass lie empty in the gravel. Some familiar chain shackled us together, although I had every chance to, I couldn’t leave. I was present when a young life disintegrated into oblivion, and it was I whom payed the price for her actions. My name is almost as unimportant as to whom I once was. I’ll leave that for another time. For now...

Her mind was humming with thoughts lithe with questions, questions unanswerable. A whirring stream plagued with uncertainty and confusion. At a long dark wooden table, she sat alone in silence. A teasing grandfather clock stood it’s ground at the end of the room, it’s ticking mocked the girl as she screwed her eyes shut. A pitiful attempt to close out the external stimuli. She had to focus.The purring drone of the television zipped in and out of the girl’s train of thought, a single, loud, obnoxious advertisement humoring her parents in the next room, completely lead her thoughts to jump tracks and combust into flames. She never got them back. With a heavy sigh, the girl reluctantly made her way to the living room, her pale blue eyes resembled that of a ghost’s as she surveyed the dark den. The girl’s parent’s behinds were glued to the couch between the hours of them returning from work in the evening and going to sleep. She shifted in her dainty school shoes, eyeing her parents speculatively , perhaps waiting for some kind of recognition. She recieved none. Just as inaudibly she had attempted to become visible to her parents, she returned to her state of invisibility once again. This was her favourite place to be.

As a side note, through the following tale I will tell, you will never hear this girl speak. I believe she is incapable of speaking to anyone but herself within her own ingrown mind. Her mind was littered with great intellect and reason, but with her introverted state of mind none of these ingenious thoughts ever saw the light of day. This I did not understand.

Stalking down the hallway with a dark glare, she descends into her lair. A modern cave full of posters of the latest boy bands, only the newest trends graced the racks of her walk in wardrobe with various luxury tags still swinging from the collars and sleeves of half the attire. A Queen sized bed struck the centre of the high ceilinged domain with a feature wall of blues and aquas dashed across the walls. All a girl could dream of. Not this girl. Aimlessly wandering to the nearby mirror. A pale, slight figure gazed back, clad in a wet, blood stained school uniform stared back. In hindsight, I knew she saw it coming subconsciously. Screwing her eyes shut, slamming her weak fists against her skull, a muted grunt escaped her thin lips. Her ashen eyes struck the mirror again with a dangerous gaze, a wicked smile agonizingly slow grin painted it’s way along her mouth as here reflection returned to that of reality. Letting her long dark hair down, she kept the grin on her bloodless face as she skipped into the wardrobe, grabbing her favourite jeans, she shrugged them on.

Zipping her fly, she shuffled through every draw looking for a shirt. Finding a t-shirt and a hoodie, throwing them on and lacing up her converse, she grabbed a backpack and shoved a few shirts, a few pairs of socks, underwear a beanie and some fingerless gloves. Her subconscious fighting a losing battle with her ambition to escape this prison of teen glamour, she shook her head violently, slowly breaking into an inaudible sob. It silently rang throughout the whole house, it rung through the living room with zero response, but silenced the grandfather clock. It was the girl’s job to wind it every evening. It would never tick again.

Grabbing a few extra dollars from her wallet, she climbed atop her bay window, opened one of the glass slats and proceeded to kick off the flyscreen. She heard it hit the ground with a feather light thud. In her mind, she calculated that the drop couldn’t be more than a couple of metres, and with the right landing procedure, she could escape her past life physically unscathed. Weighing up the risk of breaking an arm against another night in this false reality, she jumped out of the window awkwardly, landing on her lower back. A perfectly manicured hedge broke her fall, something she didn’t see from her window. Even the house itself was on her side.  Brushing herself off, she gave one more ghostly, emotionless glance at her previous home. She would never go back, never. Her shallow breath performed steam ringlets in the brisk evening air, shrugging her hood on to cover her bright auburn hair, she shoved her hands into her pockets and started walking. Through the perfect family neighbourhood that looked like something out of Desperate Housewives, she glared at the polished iron gates that front every house in a menacing fashion. Rolling her pale eyes at the life she once lived, she swore to never go back. What she had in mind at that time, I have no idea. Where is a seemingly homeless teenage girl going to go in the middle of the night without the knowledge of her parents or anybody else for that matter. She was leaving, that was as much reassurance she needed to keep her walking down the footpath.

The night drew on, she had been walking for a good hour and a half now. Her iphone read two things, it was 11:47 pm and that it was on 14% battery. Unless her parents called her within the next hour, they would never hear from her again. The landscape had changed somewhat from where she started. The clean concrete sidewalk had now turned to a greasy, wet gravel path on the side of a quiet country road. It was quite a lovely area, the girl thought to herself, surveying her surroundings with unease. On the right side of the road, was the gravel shoulder of the road where she made her way to God knows where, next to her it just backed off into full forest. Something you’d see on the Discovery Channel back home, the girl’s mind whispered to itself. On the left side, was an iron railing, it looked  almost brand new, only just installed. There must be some pretty bad drivers around here. Beyond the railing, was a drop off, a lake violently washed the bank of the drop off, it stretched for kilometres. The way the moonlight reflected off of the cerulean chaos below was rather pretty, but it proved to have an unsettling effect of the young girl.

This must have been the first time her converse had ever tasted dirt, or mud for that matter. Before the girl could think of a worse situation to be in, the heavens opened up above, the stars were no longer visible, they were dominated by a boisterous, rough looking storm cloud that seemed to follow the girl everywhere she went. It poured and it poured, but she never turned back. Soaked through to the bone, the girl lifted her ghostly eyes off her now black (once white) sneakers, to the road ahead. Headlights shining from the other way crept around  the bend, the lights streaking through the trees and shrubs disfigured the light, it flew through the forest like light spirits. This brought a weak smile to the girls face, maybe she could grab a ride with the driver, if he was going past her old town of course. Quickly a mighty screech ripped through the serenity of the rain, the lake and anything else the girl had running through her mind. The blaring high-beam lights dazed the girl. Dilated pupils whispered her fate in a mischievous tone. The vehicle speed around the bend, it drifted onto the other side of the road, spraying gravel into the lake. It rebounded off of the railing along the drop off, at least it was christened now. The vehicle bounced off the railing, turning it’s overwhelming attention to the pale, dark, wet clad figure, stuck still to the side of the road. That was all. The car came, then as soon as it came into her life, it was gone, but never forgotten.

A shredded backpack full of clothing and an iphone was found dragged a few hundred metres up the dark, buckling road. It lay there, almost as lifeless as it’s owner. No one found her. Her storm cloud dragged her away, she washed away, out of everyone’s life just like that. Not that her parents cared. They never did care for me. Now you know my story. Our story. Now I know, I never should have snuck out that night. I wanted an escape, but this was not what I had in mind....
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